From the Humanym archive

Abraham Lincoln to Fanny McCullough, 1862

In the middle of the Civil War, Lincoln writes to the grieving daughter of a friend killed in action: 'You are sure to be happy again.'

Executive Mansion, Washington,

December 23, 1862.

Dear Fanny

It is with deep grief that I learn of the death of your kind and brave Father; and, especially, that it is affecting your young heart beyond what is common in such cases.

In this sad world of ours, sorrow comes to all; and, to the young, it comes with bitterest agony, because it takes them unawares. The older have learned to ever expect it.

I am anxious to afford some alleviation of your present distress. Perfect relief is not possible, except with time. You can not now realize that you will ever feel better. Is not this so? And yet it is a mistake. You are sure to be happy again. To know this, which is certainly true, will make you some less miserable now. I have had experience enough to know what I say; and you need only to believe it, to feel better at once.

The memory of your dear Father, instead of an agony, will yet be a sad sweet feeling in your heart, of a purer, and holier sort than you have known before.

Please present my kind regards to your afflicted mother.

Your sincere friend

A. LINCOLN.

Why this letter

William McCullough had been clerk of the McLean County court in Illinois when Lincoln rode the circuit; despite being blind in one eye and missing an arm he enlisted, and was killed near Coffeeville, Mississippi on 5 December 1862. Lincoln, who had lost his own son Willie ten months earlier, wrote to McCullough's daughter Fanny. He does not tell her the loss is bearable. He tells her what he knows from experience will happen next, and asks her to believe it only as far as it helps.

Hear it discussed

The Art of Being Human · a Humanym podcast

Abraham Lincoln and The Art of Empathy

Episode 4 — coming soon, with a one-minute version to watch.

Provenance

Author
Abraham Lincoln (1809–1865)
To
Fanny McCullough
Written
23 December 1862, Washington, D.C.
Source
House Divided Project, Dickinson College
Rights
Public domain — Abraham Lincoln died in 1865; the letter is a work of the U.S. President in office.
Formatting
Paragraph breaks added for readability; the wording is unchanged.

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